Living in a Second Life Bowl full of Perverted Monkey Sex

Life in a Bowl by Cica Ghost (moderate)

Cica Ghost’s latest beautiful creation is Life in a Bowl. Residents of a tropical island have placed sea creatures in giant aquariums – within sight of the ocean, which seems unnecessarily rude.

The good news for them is that the build is temporary and I’m sure they’ll be released back into the wild soon. I hope!

OK I’m going to stick my nose partway into the latest SL drama. One aspect of it has, over the years, made me very curious.

It all started when Eric Grundhauser wrote a wonderful article about Second Life on Atlas Obscura. He expected “to find a dying world of outsiders and bronies gleefully recreating pornographic impossibilities”. What he found instead, thanks to the guidance of Ziki Questi, was “a fascinating and vital world that is constantly changing and pushing the boundaries of what a virtual space can be”.

Life in a Bowl by Cica Ghost (moderate)

You’d think this would be a cause for universal celebration, wouldn’t you? A writer who finally saw what we see and didn’t let the usual rumours or preconceptions blind him to what’s on the grid. Not so much.

I’ve often thought that if we had ever started a drinking game which required us to down a shot every time Hamlet said Second Life is Dying – we’d all have cirrhosis of the liver. Well he did it again – in response to the aforementioned article he wrote (and has since edited) that it was just Ziki’s expert and tightly controlled guidance which gave the author a distorted picture of our reality.

His proof, which he uses frequently, is that the most popular locations inworld are “pornographic”. By this he means that they are rated Adult and that translates to “extreme sexual and violent content”.

Life in a Bowl by Cica Ghost (moderate)

I don’t think anybody will dispute that there’s sex in Second Life. Some of it is extreme, and disturbing, and violent. This is also true for real life. I know it’s hard for some people to accept, but there’s sex in San Francisco too. In fact, pretty much everywhere in the world.

However, much like the real world, we don’t see it unless we want to. Which brings me to that list of the most popular sims on the grid.

In my experience, and of course I am not nearly as knowledgeable about these things as Hamlet, just labelling a sim Adult does not make it pornographic. However, if perversion is the primary focus of our world, and those are the destinations with the most visitors, I thought I should go see what I’ve been missing out on.

Life in a Bowl by Cica Ghost (moderate)

I used the list he posted yesterday. The first location had no porn, and none of the bots I encountered (62 of them) were having wild monkey sex. If anybody had been acting perverted and weird, those bots would have been like the fish in Cica’s landscape – unable to do anything but look on in envy.

I went to a few places and I am sorry to report I saw no porn, no sex, no ugly underbelly of the virtual. (I don’t count nude volleyball as porn btw.) All of that exists of course – it’s just not proven that SL is first and foremost a place for “outsiders and bronies” by the maturity rating of the most popular sims.

I’m sure Hamlet has much more experience with perversion than I do. However, if he got out of his SL bed (or dungeon) and actually explored a bit more, we might not have to buy yet another round of Tequila shots. He should really pay the bar tab.

Life in a Bowl by Cica Ghost (moderate)
Leave a comment


  1. Excellent Post – Thank you so much.

  2. One of your absolutely Best posts ever!

  3. xerikomelnik

     /  May 12, 2015

    The problem isn’t Hamlet and his “restricted” (or restrictive) SL experience, it’s the fact that many SLifers (and non-SLifers) read him and take him as an authority. That is what needs to change (or be challenged, whatever people decide is best).

  4. orcaflotta

     /  May 12, 2015

    Wonderful and wonderfully opinionated post, Honour. I don’t know why and how Hamlet ever got to his status as a kinda authority on SL neither. He seems to have lost contact to our little world long ago as his expertise is outdated since years, kinda shallow, and his opinions are very populistic.

    Maybe he should leave the article-writing to Iris, she’s more pleasant to read anyway. And her articles often contain some information and inworld experiences.

  5. Paypabak Writer

     /  May 12, 2015

    Hamlet has become a parody of himself. Does he read his other SL columnists? It’s almost sad. Thanks for risking the cesspools of SL to shed some light on the matter. I have posted that you have taken up the mantle and then some of NPIRL. Keep up the good work!

  6. colleen Criss

     /  May 12, 2015

    Thank you.

  7. Reblogged this on Caledon: possessed of character and commented:
    Woot! Honour posts the best LOL addendum to an article I will link here next five minutes. But read this one first!

  8. colleen Criss

     /  May 12, 2015

    Reblogged this on Colleen Criss's Weblog and commented:
    Second Life is NOT Dead

    It’s alive and well and full of wonder, despite what some old and popular SL newsers keep writing about.The sky is not falling. The sky like everything else is shifting and changing. This is the norm.

    YET , some of us forget. and write personal feelings about a world that one does not use as one once did and it keeps breathing even after one lost interest on it.

    I entered SL in December 2007, I was thrilled then and I am still thrilled daily. Why else come if that was not true. When I figured out how to SL it was even more fun. Make no mistake SL takes a minute or 30 just to learn to navigate.

    The graphics have improved, the creators content has evolved, Linden Labs are giving us some awesome new tools. No more cartoon skins as creators skills evolved, no more stiff ugly hair, clothes look almost so real you feel like you could reach out and touch it. Mesh has come along nicely and creators improved their designs and methods daily. It’s a process, like everythng else in either life , you take baby steps you learn , change and grow. SL has come a long way it’s not 2003 anymore or even 2007 and as I have watched things change in SL I’m still thrilled! That’s 8 years!

    Music on Second Life has changed and grew and some awesome musicians have come and gone and some made careers in SL that moved OUT of SL and vise versa.

    People who otherwise might never have a chance to get out of their own meatspace for reasons ARE now chatting with other people thousands of miles away, building bridges that might otherwise never be possible. Making connections, forming friendships and some are or have even meant thier spouses through SL. Artists from the *real* and creating a new art in SL. Artists who had no real outlet are finding theirs. People who thought they had no real artistic talents are finding out, they do! To be clear when you stop and think about it everything done is SL is a work of art , from making a texture to designing a sim. Drop a prim and let it begin.

    BUT Honour Said it better! Please read her blog post.

  9. Excellent & a great smile on our faces [Jo and mine]. Would you like to come on the podcast sometime to discuss these issues?

    • Thank you and sure :)

      • Thank you Honour for the post. Like many here, who have spent lots of time, and through the years, in SL – we know it is more than anyone activity (sex or otherwise), or interest, or community, etc. It is like the internet itself, in all of it’s chaotic glory a microcosm of many people, with many interests. Sure sex is part of that, but so is so much-much more. Back in 2006 I was on a RL conference panel on sex and relationships as the person to chat about relationships in SL (long story). And I can’t tell you how many times, through the years I have had to set journalists (and others) straight on this concept that the whole of SL is more than any one part. Bravo & thanks!

      • Thank you!!

  10. Fabulous! But I’m biased as I commented nearly the same thing on his post … stop going to sex sims and visit the rest of Our World, Hamlet.

  11. Reblogged this on The Poultry Report.

  12. Bucky Barkley

     /  May 12, 2015

    Well done. I’ve been active in SL for > 9 years, and always find a wide range of things to experience. If Hamlet can’t be an active participant, then he should ponder the idea of “write what you know”.

  13. Whether half-full or half-empty, I raise my glass of water to you.
    Well said.


  14. girlforgetful

     /  May 12, 2015

    Would “Perverted monkey sex in SL is the safest sex there is!” be an innappropriate response? I suppose if I have to ask …

  15. Reblogged this on The Little World and commented:
    Cet article de Honour me permet d’inviter de vous encourager à suivre son blog. Elle propose un regard intéressant sur Second Life.

    Après avoir présenté la nouvelle création de Cica Ghost, “Life in a Bowl” – encore une fois, une très belle réussite – , Honour revient sur un article d’un autre blogueur, Hamlet.

    Pour répondre à (enfin?) un article qui montre une belle facette de SL, Hamlet reprend la vieille accusation “SL ce n’est que du sexe, ou surtout ça”, en montrant la liste des sims les plus visitées, presque toutes dans la catégories Adulte. Honour est allée visiter ces sims…

  16. Great post, Honour. Hamlet has been an idiot for far too long, and I’ve always loathed his click-bait approach that’s designed to drive up views and ad-generated revenues for his blog, which is full of poorly-written, content-free drivel.

    • I can’t fault him for trying to make some money :) but Thank you! :)

      • Well, I can fault him for profiteering through misinformation and odious punditry. Also… I had ripped a wannabe pundit like him to shreds before:

        I would normally gladly give His Punditness the SL Pundit of All SL Pundits the same treatment, but I’m having too much fun in RL to bother. He’s a complete idiot; we’re talking about Faux News and Daily Fail levels here.

      • /me grins

      • Mind you, in that old post of mine I had also dug up something that shot Hamlet’s claims down in flames: a 2011 interview with IMVU’s David Fleck – IMVU gets lots of praise for its business and marketing model, yet markets itself primarily as a nexus for pixel sex – and no one is “offended”. But it’s SL that gets all the kink-bashing. Had Hamlet looked into his own archives, he’d have known he should have kept his paws off the keyboard. But hey, we’re talking about Hamlet here: the guy who makes Faux News panelists look like sentient beings.

  17. Bravo and thank you! Many times when I confess to my RL friends my love of SL, I refer to you and Drax to get an idea of the endless possibilities and creative expression that SL offers.

  18. I’m curious to see where the reaction to his post will lead, mainly with Ziki’s suggestion that SLers and people who have business in SL should stop advertising on NWN. I think Hamlet didn’t expect that. Frankly, in my opinion, something like advertisers’ pressure should not keep a good journalist from reporting what he sees, for if journalists lose their credibility they losse it all – but the problem about NWN now is that it has just been repeating that same old refrain and, particularly about Eric Grundhauser’s article, it seems that Hamled didn’t understand the text at all, its intentions, its subject… He olny reads what he wants. Anyway, I’ll keep an eye on where the river flows to now, for this can become an interesting story to cover or follow.

  19. Honour, you’re amazing.

    I love that you called Hamlet on the faulty logic re: Adult regions being indefinitely analogous with Pixel Sex Smorgasbords. I mean, that sounds fancy and delicious – not gonna lie. But why would anyone take umbrage with an article that dares to focus on the beauty and creativity of Second Life without an equal time spent bemoaning our rampant (and so-called) “pornography problem”? That would be like denouncing all SL blogs that don’t equally cover every single aspect of the virtual world. People align with what fascinates them, and Eric clearly wanted to highlight the things about Second Life that his readers would find most interesting and compelling.

    But as much as I love your rebuttal, the clickbait title was highly untoward! Now you owe us monkey sex. ^_^

  20. Great column, Honour! Good on you for calling Hamlet out and giving him a reality check on his famous list.

  21. Call this a personal beef but this seems a good time to pile on. A short while back Hamlet put out that he was looking for more advertisers for his blog.Looking for a boost in listenership for my radio station I figured it would be worth spending some advertising money. I made the inquiry to Hamlet, introduced myself and the business I wanted to promote. He flat out stated my station “wasn’t a good fit” and offered no further explanation. My station, KONA Stream, has been broadcasting into Second Life since 2006 and serves many residents. He’s out of touch, dismissive, & irrelevant.

    • aww sorry to hear that Go!

    • Why would you advertise with or sponsor Hamlet? If it’s for the traffic, consider who that traffic is and the mood that they are in. And, I suppose, potential for backlash when a boycott-the-sponsors flag is raised by bitter sociopaths such as myself.

      I’d think that if you’re looking to promote the station and attract listeners, you’d go with a positive (or at least honest) outlet, such as Draxtor’s weekly show. Yes, he has his detractors (we bitter sociopaths keep a busy schedule of boycotting, detracting, and bowling nights), but he’s at least curious and often takes a back seat to the guest’s views (edited, of course).

      Or sponsor a few of these fairs or gacha festivals or product shows that nobody can seem to teleport to because some overscripted fashionista bitch is trying on every damn demo.

      Or sponsor an RFL team and get mentions without having to “compete” with that T1 radio outlet.

      Put your heads together and think before you hand your money over to a has-been muckraker and his fashion-tip flunky.


      • Thanks Crap, that is excellent advice. The past few years have given me limited time in world and limited time for promotion and I am trying to rectify that. I’ll do some more homework before I lay my money down.

  22. Damnit, I’ve been doing SL all wrong! 8(

  23. I just spent the last 72 hours of my real life working on and hosting an all-day memorial service for one of my best friends who I just happened to meet in Second Life 7.5 years ago.

    Hundreds of people attended the memorials yesterday. Hundreds of people expressed their love and admiration for someone who was an extraordinary person in both lives.

    Her RL partner told us that as she was passing, they were talking about her sim that she had owned in Second Life (Giverny). She was describing the flowers and the beauty. She literally passed from the actual world to the one we can not see *through* her Second Life.

    I am sorry that some people have lost the ability and the will to see the magic that SL connects so many people to

    Thank for you for this post Honour. Thank you.

    • Thank you Gabrielle and my condolences for your loss!

    • Maybe there’s a deeper lesson in this. When folks like Hamlet feel compelled to look for an ugly or bad side of a good act, it’s time for them to move on to something they can be more positive, hopeful, and constructive about?

      Yes, SL (and many of its prominent residents) needs its critics. And time will tell if it is dying. But there is such a thing as death with dignity, and respect for the deceased.

      -ls/cm (and the baghead, if it isn’t obvious by now)

  24. ahuva18

     /  May 13, 2015

    Brilliant post. *huge smile* love this post. As I say about New Jersey, if all the folk who put it down would get out of SL or at least stop complaining about it, the rest of us would not have to worry so much about the – what-would-it-be? blog/publicity pollution. Excellent, excellent job Honour as always. No, even better than your usual excellent excellent posts.

  25. Paypabak Writer

     /  May 13, 2015

    I’m willing to bet that Hamlet really doesn’t have friends in SL with whom to hang out. Everyone who has responded to him in one or another has eventually alluded to people, friends who make all the difference. If he had that kind of connection, he would know that SL is more than the sum of its pixels. At this point, he’s very likely friendless as well as clueless!

  26. petrvanbeeck

     /  May 13, 2015

    Reblogged this on Confessions of a Digital Daddy Bear and commented:
    This is an excellent read.

  27. petrvanbeeck

     /  May 13, 2015

    Thank you Honour. Reblogged at Confessions of a Digital Daddybear

  28. uldig

     /  May 14, 2015

    Great post, and a very reflected way to express true facts diplomaticly.

    Maybe the root of the problem is the following:
    To speak with the hermetic school – everything is equal in micro and macro, how inside so outside, how RL so SL.
    Even in RL there are lots of persons who still obey to what the Elder claimed: Sex is a matter of tabu, sex is dirty and bad and evil.
    Everybody focusses whatever moves him, may it be good or bad. In case Hamlet belongs to the people who tend to be closer to the Pope than to “live and let live”, well…………I am afraid then he has no other possibilities than regarding SL as a world “offensive/banal/crude/just plain bad”.

    Yes I love sex. Yes I am having sex in SL. And yes I use to visit the outpointed Adult Sims from time to time. But does that mean there is nothing else to me in SL?
    It simply means I am (just like most of us) an average minded being who live his second life very close to how folks live their first lives:
    Relaxing, working, loving, dreaming, batteling, discussing and YES, f…
    So what? :)

    If somebody needs to find EVIL and sort of a DEVIL to put all the guilt of the world to — just to bring himself to feeling better, pc and sane — okay then. Go ahead, Hamlet!
    Pour it all over this virtual world called SL which is dominated by “the-Sin-in-persona”!

    Doing so will not change the truth of all the people who find more than this, wo make virtual friends, sometimes convert those to RL friends, who play and relax at wonderful set up sims, who let their creativity flow and feel the magic.

    There is not such a thing like ‘the abolute truth’
    And this is the reason why we, the people of SL, do not need to point out justifications to be here.
    OUR TRUTH is as true as all the other sights and views………..and it says “Hail SL, what a wonderful world you are”.

    /me grins. “amen”.
    Sorry if there should be some mistakes in my comment, English is not my mother tongue…

  29. As a former SL’er who use to frequent ‘Adult Rated’ sims, I find this subject very amusing and also because I am no longer an Adult sim-goer, annoying.

    I still believe that a great deal of people who were new to second life (particularly a lot who started SL in the last 4-5 years) came to second life and were shown the more sexual side of second life fairly quickly. Whether that be an advertisement, or a sexual IM from another user, or a link to a club – a *lot* of people have been exposed (no pun intended) to this aspect of sl.

    I just happened to check out the “events” section within the Firestorm search window, and 2 out of three events are very plainly advertised as sexual in nature. One is advertised as “Cuffs, Collars & Leather”. Another is “Titt For Tatt” (both of these are at sexual clubs) and a hiring advertisement for a strip/escort club. But, again, 2 out of 3 are very clearly advertising to the baser instinct. Most do not go to these sims to have sex right on the sim – they go there to meet someone(s) to take to their private land or sim to engage in sex.

    This subject annoys me because I do know that I am one of many who also carries a certain level of interest in other topics and hobbies within second life. And I am very proud that I also enjoy a very healthy creative output within second life. But it doesn’t erase the fact that sex is very prominent, no matter how much I as a creative person would rather think otherwise. It just is. So I can’t really blame anyone for noting how so many of the top populated sims have that “Adult” marker on them. Those numbers don’t surprise me in the least.

    Ziki did a great job in showing this person the creative and interesting side of second life, and for that I applaud her (I did talk to her for a bit about her experience). But media seems to have this tendency to focus on the sensational. I see far more of media of all sorts that would rather focus on things of very low substance, versus things of higher substance. For better or worse, that’s the nature of the beast.

    • Oh I agree that it’s an integral part of Second Life – there’s just so much more :) One big issue I was trying to address is that just using the maturity rating Adult doesn’t automatically mean that the sim is full of porn & extreme or violent sex. I’ve visited and posted about multiple Adult regions that didn’t.
      I certainly wouldn’t deny that it exists though. :)

      • And Honour that’s a very good point about an Adult rating not necessarily meaning that anything sexual is really going on. :) I do know of sims that have the Adult rating in an effort to reduce the number of complaints from overly-sensitive people.

      • thank you :) yeah I’ll have more on that today, but I post about adult sims every now and then but NEVER share locations full of porn or extreme/violent sex. :)

  30. The positive SL article, Wagner Au’s story, the public response and the finale on The Drax Files Radio Hour

  31. Thanks, Honor. I own an adult (non-pornographic) sim that hosts major events. Im tired of Hamlet on all fronts and have been for years. Thanks for injecting sanity into his nonsense.

    And just like Jonesy said above- that’s EXACTLY why I made my sim adult. To eliminate nonsense from people who are socially conservative. It didn’t have anything to do with porn.

  32. Jacon Cortes

     /  May 19, 2015

    Great post. The perception that SL is only for sex and smut, sadly is fed by people like this who, one can only guess, has never been out and about in SL. Maybe I am searching wrong. Just like any search, it takes the individual to type in the term. Maybe instead of searching baroque, damask, chateaus, I should should ask him for a list of the search terms he uses.

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