Never Underestimate the Importance of a Snowball Bazooka in Second Life

Winter Wonderland (general)

If you haven’t been, or haven’t heard, the Lindens opened a 4 sim Winter Wonderland full of really cool stuff. In addition to skating, and a ferris wheel, there is a snowboarding course that winds around the place. It uses experience tools as well – so accept the request to animate your avatar.

I saw some brave people whizzing by and it looks like a lot of fun. Unfortunately, my driving ban covers everything – and that includes pieces of wood strapped to your feet.

Winter Wonderland (general)

The really big news this week is that the Snowball Fight is back! This tradition has been missed by those of us who indulged in years past – there are a lot of great memories to be had. So, tomorrow (Friday Feb. 6) from 10:00 am to noon SLT, you too can make icy war on each other and the Lindens. It’s sooo nice to have them back inworld!

The venue for the “official” Fight is a great build. There were a number of avatars exploring it and I suspect they’re doing reconnaissance in preparation.

Winter Wonderland (general)

I want to encourage you to grab the free gifts that are available. Not only the skates and snowglobe and penguins. The snowball guns might come in very handy in the future.

I wrote (badly) 7 years ago about an incident in my Second Life. A would-be Dom appeared in front of me and, when I searched for a way to get rid of her, I realized my snowball thrower was the only real weapon I had (well, apart from my bagpipes).

As you can see, the weaponry has undergone some major advancements.

Winter Wonderland (general)

I’m adding all of these tools to my inventory and look forward to the next time somebody thinks they can just push me around. Trapping somebody in a snowball would feel very satisfying.

You should visit Winter Wonderland and you really, really should try and make it to the Snowball Fight. I need some practice! :)

Winter Wonderland (general)

City Streets are for Walking in Second Life & Beyond

ImaginationEstates (adult)

Cindy & Warren Ochs have redesigned their sim, ImaginationEstates, they’ve done a wonderful job, and it seemed (with apologies to them) like an appropriate backdrop for today’s story. Well it’s actually a confession or, according to Fergus, a penance.

If you don’t know Fergus, he’s one of the feline characters who moved into my real life about 16 months ago. I’ve been very lucky with my 4-legged children – my female cats lived 18 years, my rescue dog almost 16. You will be wondering how that’s possible when I tell you what happened yesterday.

ImaginationEstates (adult)

I had a few clues that something was wrong. The litter box was noticeably under-utilized, and there was too much food in their dishes. In spite of running around like a toddler on sugar, Fergus wasn’t his normal self.

I mean, what self-respecting cat eats a treat like a squirrel eats a nut? Nibbling stuff with his front teeth made him look demented. As this is the animal who considers plastic to be one of the major food groups, I started to worry.

When he vomited alllllllll over the utility room floor I decided he really should see the Vet. However, the plan was not thought through as well as it should have been.

ImaginationEstates (adult)

The Vet’s office is less than a mile from us. This is an easy walk. I can manage my old cat carrier and I can hold a 17 pound cat, but both at the same time was not going to work – even for that distance.

I decided to be clever. I wasn’t going to take a taxi because I’m cheap, instead I borrowed my 92 year old Mother’s walker and balanced the carrier (with the cat in it) on the seat. Brilliant right? I just had to push the walker on its wheels to the appointment and Fergus would have a nice trip outdoors.

ImaginationEstates (adult)

There were a couple of things wrong with this idea. First of all my Mother is much shorter than I am, so the handles are “down there”. Not a comfortable experience.

The bigger problem was that I hadn’t fully explained to Fergus the principle behind “center of gravity”. We were about 2 blocks along our journey when he moved from one end of the carrier to the other. That 17 pounds of force sent the carrier sliding off the walker, end over end, and crashing into the ground. He was not impressed and complained, loudly, for the remainder of the trip. I tried to look unconcerned for the benefit of all the people wondering wtf was going on.

ImaginationEstates (adult)

The Vet knows me well and isn’t too surprised when one of my animals has something odd wrong with them. She told him he was continuing a fine tradition.

The X-ray didn’t reveal anything, but plastic doesn’t show up on them. I also pointed out that I might have dislodged whatever it was when I dropped him on his head. She was amused but unconvinced.

He has to go back again in about one hour and I’m evaluating options for this trip. Fergus is voting for the taxi.

ImaginationEstates (adult)

>Rough Justice in Second Life – Everybody Knows

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I received an urgent message from my friend Gertrude insisting I attend the latest session at the Second Life Halls of Justice and rushed over. After all watching the court proceedings is very educational (if nightmarish).

I was surprised though that she seemed to be just standing there rather than preparing whatever defense was going to be required.

  • Gertrude: Oh I’m not defending today – the accused hired himself a high priced attorney. They’re in the holding area discussing the case.

  • Me: What is the case? Which one is the Defendent?
  • Gertrude: Oh they’ve put the worm on trial – his name is “Everybody”. I’m very excited about it because I get to be part of the jury!
  • Me: Jury? That’s the jury? How many of you are there?
  • Gertrude: Yes, Ms. Cynical, that’s the jury. It’s very representative and there will be 11 of us.

I ignored the “cynical” jab but had to know why there were 11 on the jury.

  • Me: Aren’t there supposed to be 12?
  • Gertrude: There are however many the Chief Justice feels there should be and today he said he was in an “elevensy” mood.

Oh yes, the Chief Justice – the biggest, ugliest bug in SL and proud of it. I saw him in his usual spot along with the Prosecutor. I’ll bet he makes the Jury stand up just so they’ll get cranky – he’s annoying that way.


Just as I was dwelling on the Chief Justice’s many faults I heard a loud gong sound in the huge chamber and the Bailiff called the court to order.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Are all parties present and prepared to begin?
  • Prosecutor Lie: They are Your Nastiness. In the matter of Everybody Knows I will appear for the prosecution and the Defendant has found himself a “real” lawyer.
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: I will decide who is “real” and who is not. Please announce the charges.
  • Prosecutor Lie: Your Sliminess, the Defendant is charged with pretending to “know” everything and allowing himself to be quoted extensively and permitting those with opinions to forgo the presentation of facts.

The Defense Counsel yawned and began to roll his eyes.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Could the Prosecutor please simplify his language – what exactly is the issue here?

  • Prosecutor Lie: Um, certainly. This little worm insists that he “knows” everything and that his “knowing” is all that is required to provide backup for countless statements of “fact”. Everytime somebody wants to make a point in an argument, a group rant, a blog or on a forum they begin by saying “Everybody Knows” and that is all that is required to establish a baseline of fact.
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: You’re telling me that all anybody has to do is start with “Everybody Knows” and then they can say whatever they want and it automatically becomes the truth?
  • Prosecutor Lie: Precisely Your Creepiness. In topics as diverse as Second Life viewers, functionality, Teen Grid immigrants, Fashion Faux Pas and even our beloved new CEO.
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Wait – our new CEO?
  • Prosecutor Lie: Oh yes. Apparently “Everybody Knows” that the CEO is just a figurehead. He is being manipulated by a group of shadowy investors just waiting to cash in with an IPO.


  • Chief Justice McArtherops: /me would like to cash in on an IPO. I don’t like the sounds of this but how widespread is the problem?
  • Prosecutor Lie: It is becoming bad enough that even the brilliant *cough* satirists don’t sound farfetched – comments and headlines are veering off into the theatre of the absurd all based on the statements of the Defendant and his cousins “Everyone”, “People” and “I Heard”.
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: This disturbs me greatly. Does Counsel for the Defense have anything to say?
  • High Priced Counsel: I’m a very busy man and this won’t take long.

There was a collective gasp in the chamber when he said that! The Chief Justice started vibrating and the Jury looked very nervous. I hid behind a pillar.

  • High Priced Counsel: My client “Everybody” wakes up in the morning and “knows” everything. It is indisputable. He makes his “knowledge” available to those who don’t have time to regurgitate their research for the benefit of the unwashed masses and is in fact doing a public service. This kangaroo court is a farce and we do not acknowledge your jurisdiction. Everybody knows that there is no such thing as justice in Second Life.
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: I really really hope Mr. Everybody has not as yet paid your inevitably inflated bill Mr. “Real” Lawyer. First of all the Kangaroo Court is down the hall – so you’ve obviously taken a wrong turn somewhere. Secondly I decide not only what is truth but also what is justice. You are not only out of order you are out of here.

Everybody’s lawyer didn’t so much poof as he exploded. Into thousands of tiny little bugs which crawled off the platform and down into the abyss. Blech!

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: I’ve already made up my mind but for protocol’s sake I will now request that the Jury tell me what I’ve already decided.
The Jury members shuffled their feet, glanced at each other and then looked everywhere but at the Defendant. Never a good sign.

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Very well. I can see we are all in agreement. The Defendant has been charged with providing non existent backup for “statements of fact”. Unfortunately I cannot prevent all and sundry from using you as a source but I can insist that in the future you will be prepared to provide detailed documentation proving that what you say is factual.
  • Everybody: How am I supposed to do that?
  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Oh it’s very simple. Before you can use the words “Everybody Knows” you must document that you have checked with every resident in Second Life on the subject at hand.
  • Everybody: That’s impossible!

  • Chief Justice McArtherops: Nonsense! The Bailiff will give you a clipboard and before you answer a request for information you must poll all residents and submit your findings to the court. From now on the phrase “Everybody Knows” will actually have some meaning. Try to keep in mind that I have the ultimate “God Powers” inworld. I’m certain that everybody knows what that means!

Geez the giant bug has a sense of humour. I might actually start feeling sorry for the little worm. Nah!

Throughout the trial I had this song playing in my head. It seems appropriate to use it as the sound track for the worm’s new adventure.

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Credits:

  • Halls of Justice Skye {Veralarti} Space Castle.
  • Prosecutor – Second Lie
  • Defense Attorney – SeanMcPherson Senior
  • Jury – Ahuva Heliosense, Crap Mariner, Shockwave Plasma, Tor Karlsvalt, Apollo Lokaria, Svea Morane, Daniel Voyager, Georgianna Blackburn, Callipygian Christensen, and Belvidere Fotherington
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